Well I’ll come right out with it

I started following a Twitter writer game because it seemed fun – you tell someone to pick a number of (your page range) and you’ll tweet them a favorite line from that page.
And in doing so (twice, so far, I never get much Twitter interaction, though to me I do try, but I swear to you I’m just not that likeable) I’ve started going over my WIP. And despite the fact that it’s at the effing proofreader….idk, I’m seeing stuff I want to chance. So. Long story short, I think I should have waited on proofreading. I paid for editing, which was almost half the cost of proofreading…but I REALLY should have taken the time to run through it once more before that. BUT, what is one to do at this stage? I get it back from proofreading in 5 days. It’s hardly the time to make changes now. I suppose any changes I made after that I’ll just have to proofread myself….which doesn’t sound fun but one should think I would be capable. My horridly expensive masters degree ought to have some application in my life beyond my coworkers asking me how to spell certain words whose spelling escapes them.
But, at the same time. WHY AM I NOT DONE YET? I gave my shit to TWELVE beta readers…11 of whom I know in real life. I’m sure I’ve gone on about this already. And it’s not quite the perfect, finished, polished piece I want it to be at this stage.

BUT, to be optimistic, it’s not like I’ve published it. Also I’m in no rush. I need to design a cover and draw a map, neither of which I am at all looking forward to. I mean, do you realize how important book covers are? I simply don’t want to deal with it. But I must. I’m not willing to query agents for traditional publication because that sounds like groveling and if there’s one thing I don’t do is grovel. See traditionally published authors don’t get to choose their cover, so naturally the publication house picks and pays for it. But again, not for me.
If you can believe it, one of my beta readers is already done. He said he had a lot of spare time this week. Still, impressive. CF was definitely not this guy’s cup of tea, but he was cool and read it anyway, and had really thoughtful feedback anyway, and was overall very positive, despite obviously being off-put by my sometimes…graphic…way of describing sex. Also, as I know I’ve gone into before, a lot of gay sex. Graphic, kind of rough gay sex. Sorry? Not really, but I’ll say it. Also, I mean, I have zero intention of marketing to anyone other than adults…so if kids or tweens or whatever read this and have a weird view of sex because of it…is that SO my fault? I mean. I don’t feel like it is.
BUT, this beta reader still said things like “congratulations on crafting a very well-written story.” and “I enjoyed your writing style” but also “I will say, some of the content will really narrow your demographic” for an audience, he means. Then he goes on to tell me that adolescents will read sex scenes over and over, and they’ll imprint on them, especially the ones who have no real experience. I suppose he is correct of course, but again, not marketing as YA. For some reason he was under the impression this was YA, which I never said, but I suppose the dystopian/fantasy part of it would maybe make one think that? But then he goes on to be like “all in all you did an amazing job though and you should be proud. You told a unique story and you did so very well.”
So, I should be leery of the consequences of my sundry sex scenes, but I’m a good write and this is an original story. That’s what my arrogant ass is getting from this feedback. I get it. I’m very grateful for this guy. I will thank him in my acknowledgments, possibly not by name because I could see him not wanting to publicly associate himself with my shit. I don’t blame him. I have my ways. It’s REALLY weird for me knowing my MIL is reading all of it, as I type probably. By last Sunday she had read the first 50 pages.
So I think I will start a blog series on my writing process. This entry has too long of an obnoxious preamble, which as a Pinterest-recipe-dependent-cook I seriously have a hatred for. So in my next post, I will start with a lengthy description of my writing process. Hopefully made better by the fact that I publish it in really small pieces?

~Cassie

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