I don’t mean to channel Chandler Bing, but to be fair he was a strong masculine influence on my during my formative years, just like Niles Crane and Homer Simpson.
But really though, think about how things are from how they were the last time I blogged. I made a bunch of personal world change decisions, then the world also kind of changed as well for like everyone.
I moved. To a city about 30 miles away from my former residence. Everyone refers to where I now live as the west side. Our house is so much better in every way.
I quit my office job. March 13 was my last day. On March 20 they laid off everyone in my department. So on the one hand I missed all of that, on the other I’m missing out on unemployment, I guess. But I also don’t want to go back there.
I’m not 100% on where my income is coming from. I have the at-home job, but it’s not going to bring in nearly what my former job did. Plus who knows with how things are they might fire their freelance people. I need to start scrounging for jobs. But I’ve been busy with the next point.
My book is nearly done. I received my most recent proof on March 7th. Between quitting my job and moving I was fairly preoccupied, still I managed to get through the 520 pages in 20 days. I sent Book Baby my corrections at like 11am last Friday….they bounced back the next proof in five hours. They must be BORED. So I merely checked up on their corrections (they were all right) and then I had more notes on the table of contents. I’m still displeased with it. It’s important. Anyway. I REFUSE to read it through one more time. I’m merely checking up on last minute stuff right now. Like did I use capital or capitol? Is Greenhouse capitalized every time I use it? How many times do I reference THIS. So on and so on. I never thought I was a perfectionist…but apparently I am when it comes to something like this.
So. Book Baby will probably get back to me on Monday. I don’t see why they wouldn’t get way fewer corrections done more quickly. And then if all is well on Monday I will be giving the go-ahead for the proof to be printed. Either today or yesterday I called Book Baby and had them update my shipping address. Obviously it was different in January when I first submitted. So. It’s happening. I’m making sure it’s effing happening. I can go on obsessing forever.
I did my therapy appointment on video chat on my phone on Wednesday, I liked it. It felt like any regular therapy session, but without a commute or waiting room. So I was down. But I did also change him to every other week instead of once a week, because of money. It’s a $30 copay, so cutting that in half every month is kind of a lot. These days.
Well. I guess i should address the fact that things are more fucked than they’ve ever been. The writer part of me is like woo boy it’s this generation’s first pandemic! This is a bad way to think and should not be admitted to. It’s also serious and I’m trying to do what I can to contain it. I go out once a week for groceries. I go to Walmart right when they open (which these days is 7am….SO WEIRD. It’s like being in super northern Michigan).
I’m going to cancel my 32nd birthday plans, as they involve staying at a hotel. And who’s trying to do that right now? So now I made an Amazon list that’s totally at home stuff, either cross stitch or other craft supplies, or stuff to make taking baths amazing, like a bath pillow and bath caddy…and bath salts and bubble bath and bath bombs with a tiny plastic Pokemon inside…..
I’m good at finding things that’ll make my current situation better. I’m also really good at rationing. When you grow up less than optimal in the finance department, you learn certain things. My husband just didn’t. Why would he? I get it.
I’m also really good at just chilling at home. Plus these past two weeks I’ve been really preoccupied with getting the house situated, unpacking, decorating, then of course cooking meals and taking care of cats and laundry, the usual costs of living, time-wise, you know. Until you’re rich enough to pay other people to do those sorts of things for you.
So. Things are so different now. My book is still going forward. You know what’s like…kind of funny? There’s a quarantine that places people under house arrest in my book. Towards the very end. HA. I was thinking more Bubonic plague than what’s happening right now…but still…weird to see those words, written SO LONG AGO. Due to be published next month, I guess. Plus I supposed it’s nice that for my birthday I’ll at least have printed copies of my first printed book in hand. That’s pretty cool. 8 of my former coworkers pre-bought copies from me. I’m going to offer to mail them to them individually once I have them. Since it was so nice of them to do that. Plus maybe they’ll read it because they have the time right now.
My mom is still working through all of this, she’s deemed essential by the hospital. So I’m still hearing from her 5 days a week, so that’s nice. BUT, on Friday, around 5:15pm, I got a call from her phone. She NEVER EVER EVER calls me, especially not from her cell phone. I feel like this was my horrible dad trying to get me to answer, using my mom’s phone because I’m WAY more likely to answer for her, and well we all know it. He’s done that EXACT thing before. So. Unsurprised I would be. He sucks like that.
That’s one thing that I’ve truly come to appreciate, at my age, is the SPECIAL brand of terrible Willis Chroninger II really was.
I learned at a young age, say 8-10 that I could not keep money in my piggy bank. He’d take it, as the need arose. Which was a lot. He WOULD write an IOU and put it in said piggy bank (which I still have, BTW, it’s with my most precious sentimental items. I have a lot of those. I’m like that). BUT STILL. It’s a weird thing to have to deal with as a kid. He was weird about money. And by weird I mean utterly terrible and entitled. He got that from his parents. His mom was one of those weird people who would have $1000 cash in her purse but when they died the back taxes were so intense on his parents’ houses that his sister and her husband had to swoop in and pay them before the bank took possession. But then my dad felt super entitled to constant free access to the hunting camp anyway and then there was other weird drama about paying for processing a deer one hunting season and then about my dad’s annoying born again Christian spiel and my aunts’ combined dislike of religion. My dad got in such a big snit towards them he changed our phone number. Yeah.
Also, I did a month of Clomid to no success. I started my period on the 24th right on schedule, more or less. So now I’m taking it again. You try Clomid for 3 months, then if you’re not pregnant after that you have to try something else. Something more. We’ll see. Effort. Things. Stuff.
I met up with friends on Facetime, we talked for about 2 hours. They make me hope I only have boys, if I have children. IDK. The people I’m most jealous of are the ones who don’t have kids who definitely 100% don’t want them. That would be nice. In a way I’m jealous of people with kids…but at least until then I’m out here enjoying life only having to worry about myself and the cats and my husband. Plus like…idk, look at my poor mother. Look at the odds she got. Yeah you can blame her choice of spouse but a lot of women are married to shit bags so you can’t be like oh we’re only taking a sample of two parents who are both actually good parents because i feel like that’s rare. Maybe that’s just my specific upbringing talking.
So, now that it is Sunday (I started this blog on Saturday and didn’t finish it, what a shock) I can say that I’ve done my one weekly outing and purchased groceries. Pretty much everyone is wearing masks these days. I suppose I would but I don’t have any. They say things will get worse before they get better. Right now my life isn’t so awful, or awful at all. I’ve read too much about too much hardship to think I’ve ever lived poorly.
Well, it’s a beautiful spring day, after about 5 days of overcast rainy days. I have enough weed and enough beer and my book is at the publisher. I have a suspicion they’ll get it back to me tomorrow, which is REALLY exciting because that means by next week I should have my printed books! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Anyway, I hope you’re doing okay. My best personal advice is to AVOID ALL THE NEWS. You don’t need to know the stats as they renew each hour to stay safe. Do that by staying home, doing the 5 things the CDC is saying to do. Obsessing and worrying is bad.